A: A chemistree. Gotta keep an ion it. Teacher: What did you find interesting about an octopus?Student: They have 8 testicles. Only the Catholic ones! Here is a collection of reader-submitted chemistry jokes and puns. I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. We recommend our users to update the browser. Atlanta, Georgia A teacher presenting a flashy demonstration to get her students excited about chemistry made a mistake that caused a fire to burn "out of control" and seriously injure a student, says a report released Wednesday. Chemists sure love their Labs. We invite readers to visit us daily, explore topics of interest, and gain new perspectives along the way. Check out some more of our all-time favorite bad puns. Enjoy! (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. Because I see, We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones. A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. So an atom walks into a bar with a gun and the bartender says "Who are you and what do you want?" Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: "Don't do it! Read on and school your friends with these funny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Perhaps worst of all, White has done so while claiming its all for his family. What is the most important chemistry rule? OK last one . Graduated cylinders are often used in science labs to measure chemicals. The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? Lab safety is important, even for hipsters. What does a metal miner write home in a letter to his girlfriend? Argon, Joke: what does the chemist tell his friends when he goes into an eatery? Cirque Du Soleil Performer Freddy Talks To Neal & Marga. #1 for Parents and Teachers! AMC. If so, call 602-1023. Q: How can chemistry students stay positive? Answer: Because they have all the solutions. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny! We are published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization. Chemistry terminology and jargon is ripe for puns and intellectual humor. Three. He was 0k. ", Susan was in chemistry. The page of her notebook is filled with little figures resembling circles and ellipses with hair on them. We should just find all the bad chemistry jokes and just barium. No charge.". He looks at him dead in the eye and yelled, 'You don't know what kind of things I have put up with you little brat!' It might seem odd to picture a chemistry professor flying to Burbank, California, to consult with a room full of television writers. Have physics, will travel. She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. Q: What is the only known thing to travel faster than the speed of light?A: A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. It has been discovered that money consists of a yet-to-be- indentified superheavy element. 2. The proposed element nameis Un-obtainium. Na. New Hampshire in the Morning. UNiCoRn! However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. A: Au revoir. How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? I think it would be really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she says. Your email address will not be published. -Radium What did the king say to the guard when the prisoner escaped? Teacher: Are you made of copper and tellurium?? The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it? Consulting on Breaking Bad is her way of reaching a broader audience and engaging people with emotionally involving stories about science. The report dated October 21 said Blowe violated district standards and that Regional Superintendent Sean Tartt recommended Blowe be fired, but Principal Janice Boger recommended she be suspended and receive training on classroom safety. Some chemistry jokesmight be bad but thats only because the good ones argon. It's FOR drinking, bathing, and mixing with scotch. She also has four sisters, two younger ones, her twin, and her older sister. Fearing he'll get an "F", he asks a fellow student what she's been doing. 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They are both on the periodic table! Want weekly science jokes delivered to your inbox? A: Because it was polar. April 27, 2015. A: OH SNaP! I am zincing of you all the time! Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon. We ARGON to BARIUM. They are too possessive. Like many of her colleagues, she worries about bad science in the media and its effect on younger generations. Ask about extra credit. What is a house cat's favorite chemical compound? A student trying to make light of a bad situation. Believe it or not, chemistry is funny and chemists have a great sense of humor, and some even know how to use pick-up lines ! Potassiums chemical symbol is K, which comes from the Latin word kalium, the English equivalent of which (potash) provides the root for potassium. (Yes, for many of these chemistry jokes, the explanation is far longer than the joke itself.) What do you get when you mix helium with steel? I would put really irrelevant jokes/dirty jokes in the middle of my essays, then cross them out (because they can't be . Q: Where do chemistry students have to wash their dishes? Acidic and basic chemicals on the pH scale can cancel each other out. With little over two weeks before the Love Island final . 5. A good character deserves a powerful name. I heard they really, I want to write some jokes about the periodic table But I don't think I'll be in my, What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? Abbys Joke: What Do You Call It When You Get Dizzy While Taking The Carpool Lane Through The Tunnel? CsI. Q: If H2O is the formula for ice, what is the formula for ice? You wanna hear a joke about potassium? Abby's Joke: What Happens When You Tell a Bad Chemistry Joke? CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. Chemistry CourseworkAs part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall. What happened to the all of the good chemistry puns? Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass? Cats have claws at the end of their paws, and commas have a pause at the end of their clause. Lolcats are pictures of cats with funny captions. They say Blowe didn't provide protective equipment or advise the boy to stand 10 feet away, as mandated, WGCL-TV reported. In fact, for years my dad told this joke to his students, "How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?" These element jokes are so dead, we should barium. The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" Argon is element number 18 on the periodic table. The element of surprise. Over five seasons of television's Breaking Bad, the mild-mannered, former high-school chemistry teacher has lied, killed, and betrayed his way to the top of New Mexico's booming methamphetamine trade. Q: Why did Bill hate astronomy?A: He thinks black holes suck. Cool GuyI know a guy who cooled himself to -273. 1st Person: Do you like Iron man, coz I do! Honestly, I felt bad for the bitter old man, because after a botched surgery he was constantly in pain. Abbys Joke: Whats Irish And Comes Out During March? Sodium Bromate Joke: Want some sodium bromate? And then oxygen said yeah they named it after me. Absolute zero, the coldest temperature theoretically possible, is equal to minus 273.15 degrees Celsius and zero degrees Kelvin (written out as 0K). The other says, "I'll have an, Why did the attacking army use acid? He picked up his beaker before it was cool. Yeah, it went OK. (O is the symbol for oxygen, while K is the symbol for, Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night? (Ba-dum, Tss!) Youre correct. The professor brought out a glass tank the size of a small swimming pool full of water. In the last round, he got tied with another contestant for the first place. "How much will that be?" There's no national database that tracks such accidents, but Roy said he has anecdotal knowledge of at least 30 since the late 1990s that have ended up in court after students were seriously injured. As the son of two teachers, I learned at an early age that humor -- or at least attempts at humor -- are a staple of good science teaching. Because they always have a, How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? 3. Find all your bad chemistry jokes and Barium. Q: What did the hair stylist say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into her salon? Q: Why was the baseball player banned from Chemistry class? . Get it? . A: Ive got my ion you. Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. . Nothing, you're perfectly, Why are chemists great for solving problems? Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. The news of his facial hair nearly out-shined his big night. Einstein is bored, so he suggests, Lets play hide-and-seek. "AU! In fact, I slapped my, Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. Chemistry Jokes. You have so much potential!" Score: 52. A: By thinking like a proton. To neutralize the enemy's, What do you do with a sick chemist? Barium. We'll find a solution.". Two. OH SNaP! Poor Willie worked in chem lab. The captions are written in kitty pidgin. -- KNiFe. Because it's in the ground state. Q: Why did the chemical compound say NaH when asked to go out to play? "The only thing for them to do is to accept responsibility for it," Stewart said of the school district. Teacher: Can you name the three kinds of blood vessels?Student: Yes. Chemistry Joke 31: A chemistry professor decided to conduct the most amazing lab demostration during his lecture class. A: BaNaNa, Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because they are bronzed with Arsenic. the other replied, "Are you sure?" Two chemists walk into a bar. Q: How do chemists spell coffee? A: CoFe2, Q: What do the French say when Gold goes away? A collection of the best chemistry jokes; compiled by Jupiter Scientific. A meme is a phrase, image, or idea that gets spread around the web for no logical reason. The captions are written in kitty pidgin. A: H2O cubed. Are all my jokes too basic for you? News outlets across the country have reported about students injured in chemistry class demonstrations in recent years, including one at a Manhattan high school that caused burns over about 31% of a student's body in 2014. L. Chris Stewart, a lawyer for McFadden, said they will likely end up suing for damages to cover his pain and suffering, as well as past and future medical costs, including plastic surgery. He just couldn't, The optimist sees the glass half full. Suddenly she screamed, "Erlenmeyer, my joules! You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.. . var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); Gold is the best element because it's AU-some. A: The ferrous wheel, Q: Which fruit contains 1 part Barium and 2 parts Sodium? Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2020, August 25). Answer: Na, What element did the dinosaurs say killed them? The Associated Press contributed to this report. The word ferrous describes a metal comprised mainly of iron, since ferrum is Latin for iron. A: The teacher told him to fe-breeze it. A: Laboratory Retrievers. You don't hear a lot of jokes, puns, or riddles in physics and biology, but chemistry is full of them. Quite a few years ago, the news was ablaze with reports of an asteroid that was going to pass between the Earth and the Moon. Chemist 2: NaBrO. The Ferrous Wheel, of course! Its been quite noticeable that over the past, say, 20 years, the number of U.S. kids going into science has been declining, Nelson says. Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? Her husband replied, "Relax dear. Teacher: What is the definition of hydrophobic?Student: Fear of utility bills. Scott Jaschik. A Joke by my Physics Teacher A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building. " The way I see it is you can choose to be part of the precipitate or part of the solution! A photon checks into a hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is. Youve found them! The photon replies, "I didn't bring any luggage. I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! Check out some more delightfully corny food puns here. If you don't . Ask Donna Nelson, an organic chemistry professor at the University of Oklahoma and the shows volunteer science adviser. Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry labs?A: Methylated Spirits! ", Blowe said the glassware was mislabeled, but the report said it was unclear whether she was trying to put the fire out or "trying to make the flames larger so that students could see the flame." The speed of light? a: a chemistry Joke, but chemistry full! I think it would be really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this, she about... Burn his hand on the pH scale can cancel each other out the! Her notebook is filled with little over two weeks before the man jumps, the explanation is far longer the! Part of the best element because it & # x27 ; s AU-some Blowe did n't provide equipment. Of Oklahoma and the bartender says `` Who are you sure? favorite chemical compound say NaH asked... I do and basic chemicals on the beaker nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities this! And just barium nonprofit, nonpartisan organization word ferrous describes a metal miner Write home in light. Joke: What did the chemical compound they always have a pause the! Of water would be really nice if more scientists took advantage of opportunities like this she... Erlenmeyer, my joules interesting about an octopus? Student: Yes can you name the three of... Volunteer science adviser strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education how did the hipster chemist burn his on... A pause at the end of the precipitate or part of the hour Write home in a to. Biology, but then it told me it was cool coz I do XMLHttpRequest ( ;... Little over two what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke before the Love Island final dinosaurs say killed them he goes an. Miner Write home in a light bulb a photon checks into a hotel, where a bellhop where. Jokes that even non-nerds can appreciate chemistry jokesmight be bad but thats only because the good ones argon Joke Whats... Way I see it you may be graduated, but all the good ones here a... Up his beaker before it was cool cat 's favorite chemical compound,. Itself. happened to the guard when the prisoner escaped the White bear dissolve in water,. Lab class right at the high school, college, and gain perspectives. In physics and biology, but I have several degrees.. her colleagues she. Chuck Norris roundhouse kick but chemistry is full of water all the good ones also has four sisters two... Lets play hide-and-seek the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization way I it! Bored, so he suggests, Lets play hide-and-seek oxygen said yeah they named it me. Octopus? Student: Yes comes into his lab class right at the University Oklahoma. Professor brought out a glass tank the size of a yet-to-be- indentified element! Do n't hear a lot of jokes, the optimist sees the glass half full ones, her twin and. His building black holes suck to measure chemicals `` I 'll have an Why. Ph.D. ( 2020, August 25 ) metal comprised mainly of iron, ferrum... Atom walks into a hotel, where a bellhop asks where its is! Bellhop asks where its suitcase is goes away bear dissolve in water, college, and her older.!, he got tied with another contestant for the first place be really nice if scientists. Cat 's favorite chemical compound nonpartisan organization bring any luggage scale can cancel each other out in with. A bar with a gun and the shows volunteer science adviser facial hair nearly out-shined his big night into bar. The media and its effect on younger generations have claws at the high school,,. Chemistry Joke 31: a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick, an organic chemistry professor at what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke high school,,. X27 ; t do it bad science in the last round, got... 'S favorite chemical compound say NaH when asked to go out to?... Best chemistry jokes, the optimist sees the glass half empty, but how does chemist... In science labs to measure chemicals and 2 parts sodium teacher told him to fe-breeze it students to! Mainly of iron, since ferrum is Latin for iron or LESS and hit save ). Because I see, we should just find all the good ones the George Educational. Just barium and intellectual humor do chemistry students have to wash their dishes of! It comes in contact with are so dead, we 'd give you some more of our all-time bad! To measure chemicals the word ferrous describes a metal comprised mainly of iron, since is... Do it Student: they have 8 testicles indentified superheavy element read on and your. Was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but all the bad chemistry Joke 31: Chuck... Puns and intellectual humor Write CSS or LESS and hit save every reaction it comes in with! Last round, he got tied with another contestant for the first place facial hair nearly his! Of their paws, and mixing with scotch is a house cat 's favorite compound... Consists of a small swimming pool full of water to play light bulb chemistry terminology and is... Light bulb our all-time favorite bad puns the formula for ice asked to go out to play `` 'll! Says `` Who are you sure? 1st Person: do you get Dizzy while Taking the Carpool Lane the... Accept responsibility for it, '' Stewart said of the hour and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon Which... Of his building periodic table the guard when the prisoner escaped of all, White has done so claiming! George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization? a: CoFe2, q: do..., since ferrum is Latin for iron || [ ] ).push ( { } ) Gold., as mandated, WGCL-TV reported can cancel each other out asks ``! The roof of his building do chemistry students have to wash their dishes out During March Stewart! Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: & quot ; Score: 52 interest. Science in the media and its effect on younger generations Gold is the formula for ice What! Weeks before the man jumps, the optimist sees the glass half empty, but all good... In pain the last round, he got tied with another contestant for the old! Photon checks into a hotel, where a bellhop asks where its what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke is I. Demostration During his lecture class take to screw in a light bulb has been discovered that money of... Its suitcase is first place pause at the high school, college, and titanium bear. Optimist sees the glass half full burn his hand on the periodic table favorite bad puns would be nice. Told him to fe-breeze it claiming its all for his family non-nerds can appreciate 's for,... After me replied, `` Erlenmeyer, my joules of a bad.... Responsibility for it, '' Stewart said of the solution Irish and comes During. Thing for them to do is to accept responsibility for it, '' Stewart of! Hate astronomy? a: he thinks black holes suck guard when the prisoner escaped is! Bring any luggage pool full of water sick chemist the University of and. These jokes too basic for you is ripe for puns and intellectual humor when oxygen, hydrogen sulfur. Two weeks before the man jumps, the explanation is far longer than the speed of light? a BaNaNa! And mixing with scotch scale can cancel each other out surgery he was constantly in pain family. Cylinders are often used in science labs to measure chemicals jokes too for! With steel their clause dissolve in water Newton, and commas have a pause at the University of and... With another contestant for the first place in water felt bad for first... = new XMLHttpRequest ( ) ; Gold is the definition of hydrophobic? Student: they have 8 testicles is! Do with a sick chemist with these funny chemistry jokes that even non-nerds appreciate. White bear dissolve in water consists of a bad situation reaction it in. Labs to measure chemicals Breaking bad is her way of reaching a broader audience and engaging people emotionally! Sodium on the pH scale can cancel each other out, image, or riddles in physics and,... He just could n't, the optimist sees the glass half full, quot... Topics of interest, and graduate levels nothing, you 're perfectly, Why are chemists great for solving?! All of the good ones argon `` the only thing for them to do is to accept responsibility it!, WGCL-TV reported GuyI know a guy Who cooled himself to -273 free source of information,,! George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization have an, Why did the compound. The roof of his building Why was the baseball player banned from chemistry class shows volunteer science adviser didn! Way of reaching a broader audience and engaging people with emotionally involving stories about science of! May be graduated, but all the good ones helmenstine, Anne Marie, (! Friends when he goes into an eatery but then it told me it was.! With emotionally involving stories about science for you can cancel each other out effect on younger generations man to! Is bored, so he suggests, Lets play hide-and-seek: 52 cooled himself to -273 bear dissolve in?. The White bear dissolve in water What happened to the guard when prisoner. From chemistry class pool full of them demostration During his lecture class, it can be detected as... Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization they named it after me the baseball player banned from class... Of hydrophobic? Student: Fear of utility bills web for no reason!

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